Yesterday, I went back with mummy and pei shan to SAJS to see our mentees. Initially thought a lot of J2 oso quite enthusiastic about mentoring and will still go back to visit the mentees, yet, I was wrong again. Only 3 of us went back and it feels so weird to walk down this familiar stretch of road that I have been walking to for weeks and feel out of place. Its like u don't even dare to walk into the classroom to see the mentees because u are scared that u will disrupt their lessons. I just miss that feeling of playing games with the kids and racking my brains to think of interesting Chinese lesson every week. There so much sense of fufillment that studies cannot give. Now I finally understand that only a life in service of others is worth living. The saddest thing is to realize that u are no longer required to do something for the club anymore. I remembered Mrs Lim saying that a dollar wouldn't lose its value even if its crush or dirtied but in this case, a dollar loses its value if it is not put to good use. I just wish i could continue teaching them but all good things will just come to an end. I tried to reminisce the times of all the meetings by going by the mrt way home yesterday, its like i am holding on to it for fear the feeling would be gone anytime. In the end i end up nearly crying these 2 days. Even for the chalet, the economic and monetary considerations couldn't make me change the idea that i want a 3D2N one. I just can't bear to think that after the mentally straining months of mugging, all i can get is only less than 24 hrs of fun with the mentors. Even a economist will have irrational thinking sometimes, i just wish someone, somewhere out there will have this same thinking as me