Thats the result for my psychological test my colleague passed to me today. It was titled HOW SATISFIED ARE YOU WITH LIFE? I am actually surprised that I am actually not as satisfied as my new colleague and Chia Wei was trying to convince me of how fortunate I have been and how much 物质上的享受 I have. However right now, the issue I am bothered with is my achievements in life. What have I achieved and what am I going to do in the future.

They told me that I can slack my time away now and I am not bothered by the worries of an adult. However that's precisely why I am worrying. I want to enjoy working because it is what I will be doing in the near future for 40 plus years with no 1 month break in between that I am planning for myself in July. Yet I can't help but look forward to the break sometimes. I want to have some responsibility to myself, it makes me feel useful. Slacking is not exactly my favourite pastime.

Yesterday I was thinking that probably I should choose FASS like what I originally planned, then I would be able to do the modules in chinese, literature, psychology as I pursue an useful degree. In that case I may be able to get a literary job that I may like for the next 40 years. But I know that at the end of the first year I would still choose Economics as my major and my career path will still be geared towards the business path which is a bit mundane. Not that I don't like Econs, I practically depended on Econs to survive my JC life. Its a very important subject in my life. Yet, as much as I love the subject,I don't like the end result of it. I considered taking Chinese too since I like the end result of it but I know I will not be able to excel in the countless number of 精华in中文系. I used to think I was at the top end of the bell curve but somehow, in JC, the cruel lessons of life has taught me that I am still stagnant in my grasp in Chinese but others have improved leaps and bound in that language in the 2 years. That is why that B appeared on my cert, I am good but not excellent.

So in the end, I just can't follow my heart. Seems like my brain is still better in reasoning in an argument. So looks like I am not going to be some china like many classmates thought I would be. The fight is now on between NUS Economics and NTU business. May the best debater win.