These few days I felt as if I went on a roller coaster ride, 一下子觉得相通了，一下只有觉得不开心.

A few days ago, I thought I have came up with the decision that I will not touch Economics again, I told everyone that I am going to drop this specialisation. Many of them were shocked and I also couldn't understand why there was a sudden change in me. 我想是希望越大，失望越大。

I even decided to completely give Economics up and take History as my minor instead. I knew if I did that, my GPA will probably continue to stay in the first class honours range and maybe I can stay on the Dean's list. I nearly wanted to write a death certificate to pronouce the love of my life, Economics, dead.

The history lecture was very interesting, talking about greek history and stuff but I couldn't feel any sense of satisfaction. I felt as if something has been taken out of my life. My plans for the future, my dreams.

I spoke to the Economics division head about whether I should continue but he couldn't help me. I felt a bit helpless because I am the only 1 taking this 2 specialisation (Tourism+Economics) together。 But actually no one except myself has can give me the answer.

Went with Peishan to pray yesterday, I always do that before I start school. Peishan asked me after that if prayed that I hope 观音菩萨 will give me an answer on whether I should take my second major. Then I realise I didn't, I just pray that she bless that I will do well for my Economics. I think I have the answer now but I know 这条路很难走.

记得‘最初的梦想’中有那么一段歌词常常鼓励着我，

如果骄傲没被现实大海冷冷拍下，
又怎会懂得的要有多努力才走得到远方
如果梦想不曾坠落悬崖千钧一发
又怎会晓得执着的人拥有隐形翅膀

I will try, even if I drop out of the Dean's list, drop to second class honours, at least I tried to achieve what I wanted. I am not 100% condfident I will graduate with this second major but since I promise myself, I must learn not to waver 就算遭同学白眼，被人说我成绩烂。 起码在不开心时， 我可以告诉我自己，我在走我自己选的路.

The photo posted above is taken by my President of Economics Society for my profile shot. It should be posted on our bulletin board soon, "Secretary of Economics Society, Ng Sim Hui" Wohoo :)