今天在 Economics Society Welcome Day, 突然莫名的想哭. 不是因为觉得感动，而是突然察觉到，自己很勉强自己做一些事情，觉得好辛苦。没有人欺负我，也没有人不对。Everybody have their own priority, they have the right not to come for CCA.

Yesterday, the new committee president and vice president came to persuade me to run for committee positions again. He told me that he can see I was very committed to Econs Society and have been doing my best to do my job well even though there were some issues involved. So he hopes I can run for the new year. I can say I was quite surprised they approached me again to persuade me because I wouldn't say I am that kind of people who has a salient personality or will leave an impression on other people after a few meetings. I was relatively quiet in Econs Society because they knew one another before this society was set up but I was recommended by their friend's friend. So most of the time I didn't know what was going on. So I just did my work behind quietly. I like the fact that I am in Economics Society because of Economics. I like to be identified with Economics, not really because of what the club is doing.

Back to the purpose of writing this entry, its because of what the President said that got me thinking. He said people don't do something for nothing. Neither can they do nothing for something. You do something for something and if you do nothing you get nothing. It got me thinking because there were many many times where I thought I can do something for something but end up finding out it nothing but I just keep continuing with it because of responsibility. I end up doing alot of complaining because I don't know what is the 'something' I am looking for.

However the something I am looking for can't be found in the society that I am currently in. Because people are always doing something for something. Its especially clear when you study business, you do presentations to impress your audience, you do marketing to 'cheat' your customers, you network with people to get connections. They are essential to success in the business world. However, for me, I like to do something for nothing. I like the feeling of helping others for no reason, talking to others just because I feel like talking to them, doing things because i sincerely want to do it.

I am just sad because I have been working so hard but don't seem to be able to get into the business world. However, even if I am inside, I doubt I will feel any better. But we should all understand that in modern society, its very hard to find people who will do something for no reason. If you do that, you will most probably get to nowhere.



Above is the cover of my favourite book in my childhood days. Its my dream to be able to live in a small cottage like the one shown in the picture and be happy living in a place close to nature and have wonderful friends as well as neighbours. I know this will never happen in a modern society, we expect so much so much more from each individual. If you have a chance to relax, that means you are not utilising your time. There is this opportunity cost that is constantly bugging you.

I just wanna to be happy