Finished drafting one part of my project out and decided to revisit my blog again. Have been neglecting it quite often this year not due to busy-ness but my excessive msn chat that made it unnecessary to blog about what i said during msn chat already.

Remembering the days when I just started blogging, I was someone who didn't like to say too much or reveal too much of myself to anyone in particular. Hence, I wasn't really used to talking to someone or msn chatting with one person in particular. I normally engage in conversations with myself (literally) and the thoughts accumulated to a point I wanted to convey it to someone but didn't think it was fair to say something to one instead of the other. Hence decided to start a blog.

I know people aren't interested in my daily life nonsense or rambling but by having a space to write helps me to express myself better, to convey my thoughts into words. Because of some awful past memories, it made me constantly afraid to reveal my true self to other people for fear they might treat me like how my classmates used to. Just because I think rather differently from most people and hate growing up more than any other, there are people who can't accept it and did things that I was rather bitter about. Worse thing is, deep in my heart, even if the world can't accept me for who I am, I never wanted to change myself. Hence, I often have to pretend to be another person during my secondary school and sometimes during my JC days to prevent myself from losing my childhood innocence.

For a long long period of time, I also didn't dare to 'disturb' friends, let alone organise anything because I was always afraid that my friends would know how much I treasure friendships and use it against me. Don't say I am being paranoid cos someone actually did that to me before. It wasn't until the past few years when I spoke to a friend about this issue that I suddenly realised that I haven't been opening myself truely to anyone. Didn't know that the 阴影 actually affected my way of thinking for so so so long.

It takes great courage for me to say all these in the past. But I am now not afraid to let all my friends noe that i luv all of u :)

To: JiaHui, Secondary School Clique, My 2 lovely JC Cliques, Mentoring Friends

Even If I haven't been able to meet up with all of you so frequently recently, u are all in my heart :) Never forgotten all of you :)

與你分享的快樂　勝過獨自擁有　至今我仍深深感動
好友如同一扇窗　讓世界(變)開闊