Yup, leaving in another 2 weeks time. Accomodation not settled, luggage not packed, money not fully changed. I would say I am still at a self-denial stage, refusing to tell myself that I am really leaving. The thought of leaving makes me so sad that I can't bear to do anything related to the trip for fear of experiencing the sadness of leaving my family and friends and going to Beijing all alone. I chose this road, nobody forced me to so I can't complain. On one hand, I don't want to pretend to be very happy, but on the other hand I have to keep psycho-ing myself that I should be happy. End up being confused about how to act in front of my friends. I always make decisions that I don't wish to choose but choose because my brain thinks its logically better for me. I know whats best for me, but whats best for me doesn't necessary makes me happy. Like choosing to go to SAJC, going to NTU Business, taking up Tourism specialisation. Including going for GIP. It will help me grow up and be more courageous. I know. But I can't help feeling sad. Based on past experience, I will still 硬着头皮去的。I simply use my brain too much more often to control my heart. I LuV my friends who have been making so much efforts to meet up with me, to arrange outing. To know that You will be missed, is a bliss. Hope you all know that you all will be dearly missed missed missed by me too!

其实不想走，其实我想留