Sunday, January 12, 2014
@ 4:24 PM
Did it even matter? At all?
Then came the day, my world came crashing down and I start to even doubt the existence of life itself. Never will I walk down the street feeling myself again. Never will I sing a song feeling like it's the celebration of life itself.
What is life? What is the experiences trying to say to me? What else then could really even matter? I beg that some inner voice could tell me that I was meant to go through all these to see light somewhere somehow.
It's just painful, even worse then I imagine it could be. I promised myself that I will be brave but I feel like everything that I had depend on was now gone. What's left of hope? What's there to dream? I just wish that I knew.
Even if next time, i do it right. Would it even be what I ever wanted? Could I feel like everything was worth the while because of all the sufferings. If I was a guy, maybe it wouldn't really have mattered. Maybe it will just be a pile of rubbish buried in the depth of memory. I am afraid to walk for fear of that it will just be half a life that I am leading. For fear that I do not have the courage to progress. For fear that I will go running back. For fear that I should blame myself for not holding on. For fear that I will no longer be the myself I so hope to see again. Fear that I could never look at the sky and sea that I so love and not feel a tinge of sorrow lingering in that heart.
想起來怎麼像夢 小的美好大的感動
是過了多少個秋冬 淪為下片的電影 只能重播懷舊
是過了多少個秋冬 淪為下片的電影 只能重播懷舊