Saturday, February 01, 2014
@ 10:46 PM
CNY reflections
It's days like that that I don't know how to behave. Like how I used to be, quiet and meek or be gregarious and warm like how I behave now? You see the same old people and somehow you either have a tendency to slip into your old ways or go all out to the extreme to prove you have changed? I wondered why my parents never made me mix around more with my cousins when I was younger? It just feels funny to be there but can't really talk because you were always there but never really made an effort? A lot of time lost from Childhood days just because I was just too introverted.
I wonder if my parent know the awkward feeling I get every cny. When the age gap between me and my cousins are just too great we can't really communicate. I know I am considered a lot more fortunate to have a chance to go 拜年，to still have family and relatives around you. I think I grew up being invisible and not having much of a personality.
This stark difference in my behavior now and then is confusing myself. I wonder who I really am. The extroverted introverted self >.<